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This past mother’s day(MD)was the best yet. My son, now 4, truly understands the spirit of giving and what it means to be at your best for someone else’s enjoyment. I believe it’s the beginning of taking pride in who you are. I hope for the best and that we are instilling the characteristics that will cause him to be a kind, moral man with a great sense of humor. If he has those things: NAILED IT!!

However I think of the past 3 years of mother’s days I have had. Meaning the actual “holiday”. Big disappointment all around. You know who is to blame…ME! I have fallen victim to the read my mind status of life. I feel as if my husband should know how to make me happy for Mother’s day. Let me explain why this is truly unfair.

Chris (husband) and I are both in our 40’s. We met late in life, married even later and at the last possible moment we had a child. He has never had a child before and neither have I. Why would I expect that he would know how to make Mother’s day for ME. Yes, he has a mother that he gives cards to etc. However, I am his wife and the mother of his child. Very different status. The expectation of his creating happiness through a newborn to 3 year old has had to be a daunting task. And, I acted like the past mother’s days were no big deal. I wanted to play the martyr and create a great MD’s for our mothers. Complete with cooking, cleaning and silently brooding. How unfair could I have been?

This year, I spelled it out. I would like coffee in bed, Sunday morning on the tv, a card (homemade or store bought) and something in a bag with tissue paper around it. Don’t care, again, if it’s homemade or store bought. Just wrap it up! My reasons for this being important aren’t about me being treated differently than any other day. Chris, often, brings me coffee when he gets up before me. It’s really about being a mother. Teaching my son the art of giving, treating someone besides his only child self- special and doing something with his father, secretly, for his mother.

So, to my husband. I am truly sorry for not having spoken up sooner. I promised when we married never to be that lady who expected you to read my mind, withhold sex as a form of punishment or manipulation and above all to never emasculate you in the form of making you walk on egg shells every time we are in the same room for fear of me chopping “them” off. You are a first time father as I am a first time mother. My new promise added to that list: I will always say what I need when I need it.

AND….it was the BEST Mother’s day YET!!


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