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In honor of national women’s history month I think about how i would want to go down in history. Sure, I would love to go down as the biggest winner on jeopardy EVER (man or woman). I would like to invent something to enrich women’s lives like the inventor of SPANX. I wouldn’t mind being a comedian, not the kind that gigs in bars at night, just maybe some guest appearances on some shows where I do one liners. I have a dear friend who claims I have “5 seconds of funny” no more, no less. So you get the picture. No big aspirations to go into space, be a super model or be the next Mother Teresa.

Not to say I didn’t have those dreams when I was younger. As a child, I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be the first in my family to go to college and I wanted to grow up and get married and have lots and lots of babies. Then you hit the realistic years of young adulthood. And, for me, I was a late bloomer. Those dreams changed to I want to marry a guy in a rock band, travel the world and party. As I grew into my 30’s those goals changed yet again. While I did have some rocker/party moments they weren’t meant to be! And, all I can say is thank God above. Still see some of the old crew living the life and it’s not pretty or glamorous any more (or maybe never was).

My 30’s is where it all changed. The dreams seemed unrealistic and the idea of marriage and children had long left me. I got a cat and I was one bad relationship away from filling my house with them. I finished college at 31 with a double BA in Anthropology and Sociology. And, was headed for the Peace Corp. One essay away from the big interview with the Peace Corp and it all happened. One movie date and I took a deep breath. After a few weeks of dating Chris, I decided to give this “thing” 6 months. Just to see. I felt if I left I would regret not knowing. And, Chris was everything I wanted. Male, car, job, handsome, musician (not full time) and above all a man who didn’t put up with my womanly manipulation. You know, crying at not getting my way etc. Ok, so I over simplified my criteria. He is above and beyond what I thought I wanted or would ever have. Cut too 10 years later, married with a beautiful 4 year old boy and my priorities and dreams are so very different.

So, now to go down in history just doesn’t even seem necessary for me. I don’t need to be remembered for anything by the masses. I just need, when I am long gone, for my son to miss my laugh or the smell of his favorite meal cooking. Or, for him to look in the mirror and know those big brown eyes are his mothers. Mine and his alone. I don’t need to be in a history book I just need to live on in one man’s heart and know that I have given him the tools to be a successful, moral & kind man.

  • Beth W. Mar 13, 2013 Reply

    Beautiful blog Lara, really resonated with me.

  • Terri Moore Mar 13, 2013 Reply


  • deirdre Mar 13, 2013 Reply

    what a wonderful writer you are. the last paragraph made me want to ball. thank you for sharing!

  • Brandee Mar 13, 2013 Reply

    I need a tissue….truly.

  • Fran Mar 13, 2013 Reply

    “I felt if I left I would regret not knowing” So true. Glad you stuck around to find out (from personal experience, I know it is scary) . And those eyes (yours and his) might appear again someday in another little face. Beautiful words.

  • ellen Mar 13, 2013 Reply

    :) I was there for some of these! I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up!

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